Puddings and Personalities
Sunday, June 01, 2014
When I get to that point in a conversation when things get a bit dry and awkward, and I'm struggling to think of things to talk about beyond the weather, I like to ask people
"If you were a dessert, what would you be?"
After the initial snigger or look of confusion following the giant leap in subject matter, people tend to get quite into it, and the results are fascinating. Much more interesting than the standard "if I were an animal" stuff we used to have to write about at school. Comparing people to food is not so strange a thing if you think about it. You can refer to someone as sweet, bitter, cloying, delicious etc etc, so is it so odd to imagine someone as a pudding? Desserts have very distinct characteristics, and once you start imagining your friends and family in pudding-form, it becomes quite good fun.
For example, my highly intellectual, dry humoured, philosophy-and-IT-genius of a cousin would be a Sachertorte. Intense, dark chocolate, with the ever-so-slightly bitter hint of ground almonds. Deep stuff. My fun and scatterbrained mum would be some form of crunchy caramel ice cream, spilling over the edge of a cone. My grandmother on the other hand, an exquisitely neat, elegant and sophisticated lady of 85, would be a perfectly round, lilac macaroon.
You can do it with celebrities too. Boris Johnson as an Eton Mess, anyone?
Obviously you have to try not to fall into the trap of associating people with foods they like or resemble (and by that I mean hair/eye/skin colour -- not that I know someone who is visually reminiscent of a soggy trifle). Personality is key. It requires thinking about what a dish means, not just what it looks or tastes like. And there is so much more scope for the imagination when it comes to desserts. I'm pretty sure if you said to someone "describe yourself in salad form," the results would be far less amusing (even though, technically, you can put almost anything in a salad and still call it a salad, which I suppose works as a better metaphor for the human). I think it's something to do with the superfluous quality of desserts, at least from a nutritional point of view. Desserts are not required for survival, only for showing off; the only things they really need are time, effort and patience. Thus each one has a distinct personality and role of its own. Light, fruit based and sophisticated? Unctuous, creamy and indulgent? Stodgy and satisfying? For summer or winter? For when you're feeling sexy or when you're feeling snotty? They all mean something, and all of the contributing elements are easily traceable in human character traits. To me, strawberry ice cream is youthful, fun and safe. A Victoria sponge means tradition, simplicity and a certain English wholesomeness. It's not hard to find people who personify such values.
So try it out. Think about those around you. It's a fascinating way of pin-pointing aspects of character that we may not have previously considered, and realising how we see one another. It's especially interesting when you ask others to describe you! Like people, our attitudes towards puddings are not based on how they look compared to all the other dishes on the cramped buffet table, or how they taste at first. It's about the experience as a whole, and how they make us feel.
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